I like the way things used to be. Not just when i was younger but even as soon as last week. and I had mentioned it to you but you either wanted to ignore it and me or you forget which is what i’m guessing. If i was as strong as you I’d be able to replace that memory too. With something new and happy and something that isn’t the past. But i don’t understand that, let alone anything anymore. Its like i can’t even think again or if i do it’s of you. I want to change i really do, but its so hard to do it alone because you struggle. And even i do and most people think i don’t but i do and i suffer from so many things and everyone thinks everything is just timeless but it’s not and you’re pressured to remember when and where and who and it’s too hard to take in sometimes. I’ve found out that most days i can hold in everything till i close the door and i’m alone then i guess its okay to be sad and cry. Because no one knows and no one ever will. Because you’re too scared to tell anyone, not like anyone needs to know or let alone would want to know if you’re feeling bad. Safe thoughts are so hard to keep in this environment because i’m sick and i need help and i know. Don’t remind me please i already feel bad enough i know that i don’t know where to go but that’s okay. I’m always lost, with high hopes and finding disappointments,
